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We just finished watching The Karate Kid with our children, a movie that I adored as a young teen in the mid-eighties.  There’s Ralph Macchio (is his name meant to replace actual machismo?) as ”Daniel-son”, the baby-faced skinny boy who looks perpetually like a chick who has just barely hatched.  There’s Elizabeth Shue, as Ali, the sweet, round-faced girl-next-door type, who is willing to forgive ALL kinds of weakness.  And of course, who can forget Pat Morita as Mr. Miyagi, the wise old karate teacher, a warrior who will only unleash his tremendous power when faced with true evil.

It was really fun!  We were captivated by emotions that have been locked away since the days when Madonna was young and wholesome.  Isaac and I reveled in the glory of our youthful emotions.   Throughout the movie, we grinned like grandmas on crack.  We were so happy! 

But having grown up and become discriminating, it is hard to watch without my usual criticisms. 

Let’s start with the clothes.  In most scenes, Elizabeth Shue, one of the more full-figured girls to star in movies in the eighties, is dressed in bulky garments, involving yards of extra fabric, like large poofy sweatshirts, long shapeless cardigans and poodle skirts.  The result being that often she looks like a linebacker, especially in comparison to her twig of a costar.  This is probably more indicative of the overall fashion problem of the eighties, especially for girls with curves.   

Another thing we noticed was the cataclysmic wrap-up of the story.  This is no story arc.  It’s a freakin’ free-fall!  There’s absolutely no follow-up to *SPOILER ALERT* Daniel’s triumph at the karate competition.  He kicks mean old Johnny in the face and wins the competition.  The music swells and everybody rushes the stage and within about 30 seconds, that stinker Johnny is presenting him with the trophy and saying, “You’re the best, Daniel!” with such enthusiasm, it’s as if the blow to the head has completely changed his personality.  Roll credits.

Despite these flaws and some wooden performances, the whole family had a blast watching this oldie.  I found that even though I probably haven’t watched the movie in about 20 years, there were many scenes that I could quote verbatim, meaning, I must have watched this video A LOT of times.  I seem to remember that it was one of the tapes that eventually broke from too much rewinding.  Pretty amazing that it’s still so enjoyable.  I guess that’s the sign of a good, silly movie.  It may not hold up to a critical review, but you never get tired of watching.          

A few months ago, I received an email from a friend who had recently moved back to town and was looking for work.  She listed her experience and I noticed that she had been a landscaper. 

“That’s just what I need,” I thought, looking at my bedraggled yard.  I have felt for a long time now that I ought to be a better gardener.  When I work in the yard, I am less stressed, more calm.  Even if all I am doing is pulling weeds, it quiets the chaos that collects in my psyche.  

The only problem is that I never have the time to work in the yard.

But when I saw Suzanna’s message, it gave me that little shove I needed.  I emailed to ask if she would come and help me get my yard in order.  Her response was reassuring: 

“Hey Ashly, I’d love to help you out in your yard.. id be happy to help you get things in shape and planted for the spring.. i have some time this saturday if that would work for you.. let me know…”

When she came over on that rainy, cold Saturday in March, I gave her a tour of the yard, pointing out the areas that were bothering me (practically all of them).  When we came to a large Pampas grass that had outgrown its spot and was plastering itself against a large picture window in my living room, my frustration bubbled forth.  “I’d really like to move this,” I said. 

“Well, let’s move it then,” Suzanna replied.

“But it’s so big and I don’t know where to put it,” I whined. 

Within a few minutes, Suzanna helped me to choose a new home for this magnificent, but demanding plant and we began to dig it up.  The Pampas grass was huge, between 8 and 10 feet tall.  The blades of grass were tough and sharp.  Using a variety of tools, we cut it down.  We dug it out of the ground and, together, rolled its heavy root ball across the yard and replanted it.  When we were done with that, we pruned some bushes.  And when we were all tuckered out, Isaac fed us some yummy soup and sandwiches. 

I was sore and limp, but I felt a sense of accomplishment and relief.  This was a project that I feared would never get done and I had done it.  I felt proud of myself, and grateful that I’d had someone to help, encourage and advise.

A few weeks later, Suzanna came to help me again.  As we battled the deeply rooted weeds in a sorely neglected section of the yard, I rhapsodized about my enjoyment of yard work.  “I feel calm when I’m out here,” I told Suzanna.  “And I think that I could be on top of this yard if I just did it more often… if I got out here for, like, 45 minutes a day.” 

“Yeah.  You could,” she responded with her zen-master quality.

I don’t know why or how this exchange was so motivating, but since that conversation, I have been in my yard for at least 45 minutes a day, every day, for nearly a month.  This habit is changing my life and, most certainly, it is changing my yard.  My daily yardwork is making me a calmer and happier person.  Every day, I change into my dirty clothes and go outside and plunge my hands into the dirt.  It is a transformative practice for me.  I am grateful to Suzanna for helping me find my way outside my door and into the earth.       

Starring:  Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Amy Poehler, Will Arnett, Jenna Fischer, Craig T. Nelson 
Directed by:  Will Speck
Reviewed by: Ashly Moore

It probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise to anyone that Blades of Glory is not a film that takes on tough issues or leads to thoughtful conversations.  I don’t mind saying that I didn’t expect much of this movie.  I went in with the lowest of expectations.  And in many ways, it was exactly what I thought it would be.

It is the story of Chazz Michael Michaels, a testosterone-fueled sex addict, and Jimmy McElroy, a golden-haired perfectionist diva, who get banned from single male figure skating forever when they get into a fist-fight at the awards ceremony where they have tied for the gold medal.  Three years later, out of desperation to compete again, they team up to be the first male pairs skating team.
          
The surprise was that it worked!  Blades of Glory succeeds where so many Saturday Night Live Skit-based movies have failed.  It was really funny!  I stayed engaged and I kept laughing throughout the 1 hour and 33 minute running time.  Ferrell dominates the screen, proving his ability to be hilarious, even when he’s just being silly.
          
Jon Heder is actually the straight man here (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).  Most of what he has to do is look outraged at the crass behavior of his partner.  But he does so with a stylistic flair that is both distinct and reminiscent of his brilliance in Napoleon Dynamite.
          
As their vindictive competition, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett have a blast playing a brother and sister team who are the cloying sweethearts of the sport.  They are evil and goofy, spoofing on real-life brother and sister skating teams that have been prominent in pairs figure skating.

Everyone is clearly having a good time here and the audience gets to be in on the fun too.  The script deflects all topics that could be considered complex.  The obvious homosexual overtones of the situation are hinted at, but not addressed.  Both lead characters are “straight.”  However one does get the feeling that Chazz might be, ummm, overcompensating.     

Grade:  B +